Anita

There are weird, awkward, uncomfortable moments which I remember:

 When I met my Australian (now ex) boyfriend's parents for the first time, they asked if I needed chopsticks to eat- as if I couldn't use a fork and spoon.

One time, when I was with a friend, we met up with her ex and his long-time friends from Saltspring Island. It was a sunny day on the ferry and I had giant sunglasses on (circa Nicole Richie in the early 2000s style). When we found shade, I took them off and one of the friends made a comment about "It's just weird that your sunglasses are the opposite of your eyes." And I asked him- "What do you mean?" (half hoping he could save himself and also half prodding him to actually come out and say the racist shit he wanted to say) and he said "Well, your eyes are so small and your sunglasses are so big."

To be honest, it was challenging to think of a time when I felt racially profiled. Perhaps because I've been taught to associate "racially profiling" as something deeply negative (eg. not getting a job because I was racially profiled) and for me, if a situation like that ever happened, it would be tough to figure out if I was profiled because of race, gender, or age (being too "young" and inexperienced)- the joys of my particular intersection. There is also the awkward privilege that I have of being a light skinned minority in a city where I'm not technically (by the numbers) a minority so I don't ever feel like I can "complain". I didn't get a chance to mention it when we met but there is a lot of weird imposter syndrome/  "oh well, I don't have it that bad" mentality. I'm only recently learning to unlearn this, and recognize that that thought in itself is a form of white oppression. THIS SHIT GOES DEEP.